Possibly the next action to take after one gets over the initial disappointment at discovering how incompetent your person is, is to figure out what needs changing. What do I fix first? The part of me that easily gets despondent and frustrated? My slow cognition when morale levels are low? A lack of marketable skills? Inadequate exercise—and unhealthy body = unhappy mind? My salaried environment?
These are the various areas of improvement I identified—all could probably could do with an upgrade, some with an overhaul, but it is indeed depressing to arrive at the conclusion that the very core of the problem lies in my psyche. I know that negative events do not make me unhappy, it is my response to them, and that the better person has the ability to control and moderate their response and emotions… I know that, but sometimes I do feel like one big lugubrious ball of negativity snowballing down a treacherous mountain to sure death, with no good way to stop myself from being toxic to other people, who might be trying to stop themselves from rolling down as well.
It’s probably clear that if I wish to eventually become an asset, I have a lot of work to do on myself in 2021, and should probably start getting to it now.
茉莉花の独り言 