Monthly Archives: June 2010

痛い

overdid my sets of planks yesterday. now my abs hurt like shit whenever i sneeze or laugh. am absolutely not looking forward to today’s sets of planks. like after the 5th set my shoulder and back muscles will start to feel like they’re on fire.

今日だけ
有るだけ
全部燃やしたい
そうだ せめて今だけ
焦げる浜辺ダンスイタイム!
–> Inamuragasaki Jane by AKFG

「一匹狼だなぁ」って彼が言った。
(あの頃はまだ目さえ合わせられなかった。)
オレね、
かってにどっかに行って一人で勉強するし、
かってに日本語レッシンを続けるし、
一人でスペーン語のレッスンに行くし、
いいBLドラマを聴くとかってに萌えっちゃうし、
日本へ行けた時はかってに興奮したし、人に迷惑かけて、
一人で機械工学なんかうけるし、
かってに一人でカソリック教会に通っていて、しかも知合いのいない教会に、
うでを上げたくてかってに他のチームのフロボールの練習を参加するし、それに一人で、
フロボールをやりたいと思うのはオレだけで、部長までついて行けなくなって、
チームにマラソンに行きたいと思うのもオレだけな訳で、
気付くと、オレはいつも一人で歩いている。
不愛想だな、オレ。
たまには仲間ってもんがいたらいいなぁと思ってしまう。
時々突っ込まれて、流されたいと思ってしまう。
これって、自分が弱いって事かな。
寂しい時は寂しいと告げるのは弱いって事かな。
オレ、根性のある強い人になりたいのに。
だから踊り子さん、君がみんなに好かれた彼女を選んだと、最近分かってきました。(それに三年経ってから)
いつまでも自分の外見のせいにするわけにはいきませんよね。
性格だった、性格。
オレがまだ引ずっていると知っていたら君は嫌がるだろう。
悔しいけど認めざるを得ない。
この性格じゃ、仲間はやって来ないって事を。

お兄さんどこです。なんで引越しなんかしたんですか。i kind of need you to scowl at me, call me a wussy and tell me hurry up carry on what i must do without feeling sorry for myself.

天才!

後藤正文 gotou masafumi of ajikan is a genius.

not forgetting his band member, yamada takahiro and the rest
(yes i think gotou is much more talented than jay chou in almost all aspects.)

AKFG
yamada, gotou, kita, ijichi

gotou’s this tiny man with spectacles who always had to stand in the foreground when taking pictures but is still towered over by his bandmates while standing in the foreground. but he writes great music, plays the guitar and sings very well live. (and i must profess that i like tiny people in spectacles.)

best of all they don’t appear in silly variety shows or commercials and they don’t advertise themselves in the JE way. they don’t even appear on their own album covers. i was even hard pressed to find photos of them. their selling point is their music and i love that about them.
and it seems ironic that the only japanese band i’ve ever respected has had heavy western influence.

このままでは丸くなる

i can actually.. feel the growing layer around my waist. it’s quite disgusting. like what the hell face so round already if everything else becomes round i can roll to school in august instead of paying adult fare. like what on earth am i saying now?

i should start running more and cut down on my food.
cut down on my food.

why why why do i need to wear that dress on saturday. i need to.. HIDE in some corner for the whole day.

would be マジで brokenhearted if the extra weight decreases my reaction speed even by 0.001seconds. i’m so slow as a keeper already.

交渉人は振り返るturn back!

have i talked about how much i love Eda Yuuri’s Koushounin series?
i think i have, countless of times, since i heard the first BLCD a couple of years ago and i’m like devouring the third book in the series koushounin wa furikaeru「交渉人は振り返る」(which i bought in japan!) like crazy and i’m halfway. will be pretty sad when i finish it because i’ll probably have to wait a few more years to go to japan again to get the next installment of the series.

51ZdeiXQv5L.jpg

but seriously, the situations mebuki and hyoudou gets into! and the things hyoudou say. oh my gosh my core muscles almost died controlling my laughter on the train.

poor mebuki got squashed under 3 sumou wrestlers while trying to catch a swindler and hurt his back. shimeno insists on helping him put the compression pad on his back and even offered a massage. hyoudou and hakuta.. just has to walk in unannounced at the moment shimeno’s hand was on mebuki’s ass. mebuki, mebuki, mebuki why does this always happen to you?

hyoudou: *says to hakuta while staring down at shimeno and mebuki* are you carrying a gun?
hakuta: i offer my sincere apologies for not carrying one today. there’s an apple in here if you want *gestures at the fuit basket he is golding*
hyoudou: i won’t be able to kill him if i hit him with that right?


and when mebuki came back to the room after seeing shimeno out, hyoudou was sitting on the sofa sulkily eating a banana. from the fruits basket he brought. the cuteness of the whole mental picture almost killed me.

and what’s with shimeno’s name. 七五三野登喜男. it has like 7 words when written in kanji and 6 words when written in hiragana.

and mebuki! the oyaji gyagu he spouts and the hopelessly oyaji trains of thought he has when it comes to ayaka makes me relieved that he’s still the cheerful anti-romanticist he was since the first book.

plus this book was released almost a year ago? like why is the bldrama not out. i seriously can’t wait.

P.S. sometimes i really do adore those american fujoshi with their wicked sense of humour. this one doesn’t update anymore but still, read here blog here.

ワハハ

read this article on the m/m romance genre here.

it’s kind of funny when people don’t realise the number and ferocity of us yaoi fangirls, and assume we’re rooting for douseiai simply because we’re ‘romantics at heart’. or that we can’t resist the 禁断の恋 genre, reminiscent of romeo and juliet.

i should show him some volumes of sugimoto ami’s animal X. or tori maia’s hoshi no yakata series.

and no, i don’t like heaving bosoms.

脂肪を消耗する

stepped on the scales after i realised that i was putting on alot of unwanted mass around the waist area.

wah okay. this is getting abit scary. seriously should stop eating suppers, pouring late night baileys and waking up at noon. and die die also cannot miss a single training once the whole wedding thing is over.

worse still i have to wear an ultra ultra figure hugging tube dress this saturday as a bridesmaid. this is a horrible time to gain weight and look fat. but what the hell. i can’t do anything in 6 days. just hope i don’t look too much like a piglet wrapped in cloth when the walk in music plays.

すっかり

had already finished drinking the unsweetened jasmine tea from muji when i remembered that i bought it to mix with umeshu to drink tonight.
aiya. have to drink it on the rocks again.

ぶらぶら、ぶらぶら..

it’s one of those sadistic nights when i suddenly have this voyeuristic urge to look for new bl manga which involves a very brutal and evil seme driving a poor helpless screaming bleeding uke to the brink of insanity (using whichever methods, like upsizing everything? mffff )

i think it’s because i haven’t played floorball or ran for 2 days because of the rain and i need to let off some excess chi? (or testosterone)

and then maybe after that i’ll cool off by starting on some of the spanish verb conjugations that were discussed in class yesterday. and maybe memorize some genders of nouns. maybe someone can tell me why in spanish a map is male and a television is female and why the hell does objects have gender in the first place.

んん?

Deuteronomy 22:13-21
“If a man, after marrying a woman and having relations with her, comes to dislike her,
and makes monstrous charges against her and defames her by saying, ‘I married this woman, but when I first had relations with her I did not find her a virgin,’
the father and mother of the girl shall take the evidence of her virginity and bring it to the elders at the city gate.

“But if this charge is true, and evidence of the girl’s virginity is not found,
they shall bring the girl to the entrance of her father’s house and there her townsmen shall stone her to death, because she committed a crime against Israel by her unchasteness in her father’s house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst.

fuck? what is this. shall i stone my husband to death in front of his father’s gate after i’ve come to dislike him after a few years of marriage, if his parents can’t give me evidence that he was a virgin before he married me? what the shit? why didn’t the bible say anything about guys who slept around before they got married? if you’re going to tell me it was just some old testament law well then i wished the people back then had enough sense to kill some bastards since they were willing to kill some women for not being chaste. then they’ll have purged even more evil from their midst!

(maybe now we now have an idea of what happens when we imperfect people interpret the scriptures abit too literally.)

sometimes things like that really make me angry.

and apparently the episcopal church caused one bloody big ruckus when they ordained women (allow females to become bishops).
the opponents point to this passage:

1 Timothy 2:11-14 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.

i think some self righteous man forgot that Adam sinned as well. and since people now refer to this passage maybe we should pull all female teachers out of the boys and mixed schools! and maybe we can give men legal authority to tell all women to shut up! why are we made with diaphragms in the first place? if we should be bloody silent and submissive all the time, our mouths should be only good for eating and making men happy!

and apparently the episcopal church caused a huge fuss when they ordained gay men.

if i talk about this my saliva will probably run dry and i’ll bao my word limit here.

read this well researched essay: here

basically what i want to say is that if people actually bothered to look properly and read up homosexuality is a grey area. GREY AREA! means that both sides of the argument can quote bible verses and tweak the meanings to suit their arguments. God said ‘Thou shalt to steal’ but He didn’t say ‘Thou shalt not have sex with nor love someone of the same gender even if the two people involved are in a lifelong committed relationship.’ so everyone can argue all they want. and not come to a conclusion. and anyone who professes that his/her interpretation is superior and enforces their will on others are being bloody self righteous. you see i don’t see why the church will probably admit any incorrigible person or some married person who had slept with 10 other people but refuse entry to a person who is committed to loving another person for the rest of his or her life.

‘The Episcopal Church affirmed at the 1976 General Convention that homosexuals are “children of God” who deserve acceptance and pastoral care from the church. It also called for homosexual persons to have equal protection under the law. This was reaffirmed in 1982.’

i’m sorry, isn’t it common sense that the church doesn’t have walls and since we’re all limited humans we shouldn’t judge other humans no matter how we interpret the scripture? i can’t believe people will actually cheerfully cast the first stone.

truth is the church is made up of us imperfect people. the church have made mistakes. the church may be making mistakes now. i just hope our mistakes don’t prevent a union between two godly people who truly love each other when 1/3 of the unions we DO acknowledge end up in divorce every year. which is why i sadly have little regard for church authority up to now. my allegiance is with God alone.

200超えてます

i have to do my run after the bloody rain stops. i have to update my floorball journal before i forget the points i have to write down after conceding the freak shots yesterday. i have to write a birthday card. i have to get a birthday present. i have to bathe and choose a nice dress. and i have to leave the house in half an hours’ time.

and yet i’m experiencing such great inertia that my butt refuses to leave the chair i’m sitting in right now. i think i’ve grown lazy after stopping work. looking forward to matriculation in august. some worrying over homework will do me good.

this is grossly off the topic, but i was on the bus home after sunday mass today and was mulling over how much youth i have left. i have this huge black-blue lump on my arm after someone slashed me with a stick yesterday. i remembered ignoring it because i was very sure it’ll heal in a few days time. then i wonder how long i will be able to run free, jostle around playing contact sports, and run around people till i’m out of breath. or how long left i have to play touch rugby or frisbee under the sun the whole day and be back the next day for more. or how long it’ll take before my knee pains and back pains last for weeks instead of days.
better make the best out of what i have left.

eh ^_^

was dreaming in the car while playing the first few lines of asian kung fu generation’s ‘rashinban’ in my head and it suddenly dawned on me what 感情論 means.

…衝動で腐ってる
君が下すジャッジは
欲望が詰まる感情論
–> 羅針盤 by AKFG

i was so blind. like so blind. the meaning was sitting on my nose for so long and i didn’t notice what it meant. was in such a good mood after that.
so happy, after simply having increased my vocabulary by one.

またまた「交渉人は黙らない」!

trying to start to reduce the pile of unread novels on my desk. it looks kind of crazy when i stack up every single book i bought in japan.

~ sherlock holmes full set of novels and short stories
~ deadlock series full set (3 novels)
~ koushounin wa damaranai series full set (3 novels)
~ jirettai kuchibiru novel
~ borderline full trilogy hardcover
~ COLD series full set (3 novels)
~ wild adapter volume 6
~ bukiyou na silent full set (2 volumes)
~ fainda no hyouteki series full set (5 books) <– オレって幸せ。
~ crimson spell volume 1,2,3
~ MW full set (2 volumes)
~ love* pistols volume 1,2
~ animal x volume 10, 11

happiness.

i’ve started with koushounin wa damaranai volume 1, but since the number of times i’ve listened to the bldrama have probably passed the 100 mark, i can almost hear hirakawa daisuke’s voice in my head when reading the dialogue.