しんどい。
seriously i wanted out as soon as possible. actually thought i will be able to spend quality time with family, training, books and new knowledge starting next month but..
sigh. なかなか思い通りに行かない人生だな。
apparently the other ramen part timer couldn’t do most of the hours and i ended up still having to work 5 days a week. shorter hours, yes. but still bloody 5 days a week. means that not only travel expenses are somewhat the same, i still need to breathe the same air as the person who was the key reason why i wanted out in the first place. i’m actually wasting precious time letting my muscles and my brain stagnate (or regress?!) some more when the time could otherwise be spent on some self enrichment.
and of course it’s always up to me to just tell everyone to go to hell give me my paycheck bye bye. after all he has gone back to hokkaidou and my smile probably wont be so ready anymore. but though have never been too much of an angel, i don’t think i’m that rotten either. so yes i’m still going to drag my useless self to orchard every evening and make a fucking nuisance of myself there for another month, before i really leave for good just before taking off for japan.
but on the other hand i need to overcome this horrible inertia and gain some momentum. i don’t care nothing at all should stop me from starting my physics/math revision and spanish lessons as soon as possible. and i don’t care i need to be running almost everyday to get back my abs and on-season timings for 8km. i’m already turning into some dull eyed, stiff and senseless pile of sludge (probably from smiling like some idiot to many extremely disgusting people everyday) and i won’t be able to stand myself if things remain the way they are. and since i’ve been in this fiery mood for most of the week i’m already getting my fists ready to beat the shit out of anyone who gets in my way.
打っ潰す、ヤーハー！
茉莉花の独り言 