read john grisham’s ‘the street lawyer’. thinking about what myo-san said about his wife. at that time, i pretty much dismissed her life goals as きれいごと, pretty cliched words; about living a life for the world, about working to earn money to give back to the world, things like that.
but i guess it’s right to say that my life goals have been predominantly selfish in nature; they’re mostly all about me, my family, my future husband, my future children. i cannot fathom living a life for others out there, i don’t have that jesuit spirit in me, i dont have that heart.
probably have been eagerly running all the rat races i could join; trying to outstudy everyone else in class, trying to outplay other table tennis players as a kid back then, trying to outsmart other players in floorball, trying to outwork all the other part timers at work.
wonder what it’ll be like if i just sat back one day and decide to not spend all my effort on things like that, and instead, like that 40 year old lady from myanmar, decide to dedicate herself to giving back to society. would i be less tired, happier?
i can only wonder, because i won’t. but at least i won’t let myself be some corporate animal trying to climb the salary ladder. i won’t allow myself to live for money. and no job is completely altruistic but a pretense of one that gives back to society is better than a job that doesn’t bother to pretend at all.
pretty much sums up why i want to join the home team, and be a law enforcer, lousy salary and all. maybe i will look back at my naivete a few years later and laugh at myself.
茉莉花の独り言 